Well, like it or not, I've got some Horror films to review for the page.
Thirteen films, to be exact (although who really knows how many will end up on the page), all of which I picked up . . . for a dollar, at the local music/video store during their clearance sale. I arrived a day late, and probably missed out on some real treasures, but hopefully, there's at least one treasure in store for me from my pile.
It was bedlam at the record store, with dozens of people pushing and shoving their way through the overflowing bins of new and used CDs, videos, records, and tapes, all priced so low it was worth looking through them. It was one of those moments I wished tyranist could have been with me, since he is better at describing these scenes than I am (well, at least he seems to have an easier time of it). The videos and CDs were mostly unknowns or independent labels by this point, and had been well picked over. It was only a three-hour sale held over from the day before, so I tried quickly to find all the horror films in the stacks. Most of them I had never heard of, a couple were dubious-looking video store screeners, and I'm sure at least half will suck. But I did find a couple of good-looking videos among the detritus, but the best stuff, I'll have to admit, I saw in other people's to-buy collections (one guy had the "Children of the Corn" collection in his cart, and glared at me when I noticed it).
When I left, I had grabbed twelve horror films and one cool-looking action movie. I paid, and was on my way out, when I discovered a copy of something called "I Married A Monster." Well, that made thirteen horror films . . . a neat and appropriate number for the genre.
Lest you think (correctly) that I am a moron with more disposable income than brains, there were two other guys with stacks of horror films in their carts. And yes, I was jealous of every single one.
I only left one Horror video behind: "Friday the 13th: Part 8," since we had already seen it, reviewed it for the site, and didn't consider it a favourite.
So, for the next little while anyway, I've got my work cut out for me. Wish me luck.
Rish Outfield
The Dollar Thirteen:
1. Only Darkness--A no-budget psychological thriller from England.
2. Midnight Kiss--A fairly-recent cop versus vampire movie.
3. Mutant Man--A so-terrible-it's-worth-seeing ultra-cheap ripoff of "Texas Chainsaw."
4. Eaten Alive--A grade-Z Tobe Hooper film about a crazy guy and his pet crocodile.
5. Death Warmed Up--An interesting, but very bizarre mad scientist flick from New Zealand.
6. Manhunter--Stylized, mid-80's predecessor to "Silence of the Lambs."
7. Howling IV--Illogical, cheap, and scare-less remake of the original "Howling."
8. Toxic Spawn--Ultra-gross Italian/German "Aliens"/"Invasion of the Body Snatchers" hybrid.
9. Split Second--An interesting "Predator"-type action film starring Rutger Hauer.
10. Stephen King's Night Shift Collection--Two short films based on King's work, the first (a slow, sad
non-Horror piece directed by Frank Darabont) "The Woman In the Room," the second (an unimpressive, scare-less
failure at adapting a great tale) "The Boogeyman." I couldn't give this skulls as neither the format nor the content
worked for the page.
11. I Married a Monster--Lightweight, unenjoyable Made For TV remake of a "Body Snatchers" ripoff.
12. Grave Secrets--A talky, average ghost story, never as scary as its video cover.
13. Buried Alive--Supposedly based on the work of Edgar Allan Poe, this psychological slasher started out great,
then fell apart in a disjointed, illogical, and confusing final act.