"For those who are single and dating, carefully plan positive and
constructive
activities so that you are not left to yourselves with nothing to do
but
share affection."
President Ezra Taft Benson
"REAL LOVE is not a selfish emotion."
"In order to avoid difficulty and possible temptation, I suggest again the following standard. Any dating or pairing off in social contacts should be postponed until at least the age of 16 or older, and even then there should still be much judgment used in selections and in the seriousness. Young people should still limit the close contacts for several years, since the boy will be going on his mission when he is 19 years old. There is definitely a time for the dance, for travel, for associations, for the date, and even for the steady date that will culminate in the romance which will take young people to the holy temple for eternal marriage. But it is the timing that is so vital. It is wrong to do even the right things at the wrong time in the wrong place under the wrong circumstances."
"Behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, ye must watch and pray always lest ye enter into temptation; for Satan desireth to have you, that he may sift you as wheat."
--3 Nephi 18:18--
"Reputation through a thousand years may depend on the conduct of a single moment."
"An important key to being loyal to your mate after marriage is to be faithful to your future mate before marriage."
"Provisional morality always emerges once people desert a basic truth. Such individuals are forever falling back, trying to develop substitute rationales, drawing new lines beyond which they vow they will not be driven, only to abandon these also under the pressure of growing evils."
--Neal A. Maxwell--
"Make a list of the traits of the type of spouse you would like to marry. Then make a list of the traits you would need to attract that type of person. Then throw away the first list and work on the second. Don't just look for the right one--become the right one!"
"The only control that counts in the eyes of the Lord is self-control."
"Self-discipline negates the need for forced discipline."
--Richard G. Scott--
In General Conference of October, 1997, President Gordon B. Hinckley, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, had the following to say about the problem of pornography in our modern world:
"You live in a world of terrible temptations. Pornography, with its sleazy filth, sweeps over the earth like a horrible, engulfing tide. It is poison. Do not watch it or read it. It will destroy you if you do. It will take from you your self-respect. It will rob you of a sense of the beauties of life. It will tear you down and pull you into a slough of evil thoughts and possibly of evil actions. Stay away from it. Shun it as you would a foul disease, for it is just as deadly. Be virtuous in thought and in deed. God has planted in you, for a purpose, a divine urge which may be easily subverted to evil and destructive ends. When you are young, do not get involved in steady dating. When you reach an age where you think of marriage, then is the time to become so involved. But you boys who are in high school don't need this, and neither do the girls."
(President Gordon B. Hinckley, General Conference, October 1997, Priesthood Session) (emphasis added)
President Ezra Taft Benson:
(April 1986) To the
"Youth
of the Noble Birthright":
"And remember, young men, the importance of proper dating. President Kimball gave some wise counsel on this subject:
"Clearly, right marriage begins with right dating. . . . Therefore, this warning comes with great emphasis. Do not take the chance of dating nonmembers, or members who are untrained and faithless. [You] may say, 'Oh I do not intend to marry this person. It is just a "fun" date.' But one cannot afford to take a chance on falling in love with someone who may never accept the gospel." (Miracle of Forgiveness, pp. 241-42.)
President Ezra Taft Benson:
"Avoid late hours and weariness. The Lord said to retire to your bed early (D&C 88:124), and there are good reasons for that. Some of the worst sins are committed after midnight."
(Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p. 561)
"Avoid necking and petting like a plague, for necking and petting are the concession that precedes the complete loss of virtue."
(Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p. 561)
"Pray. There is no temptation placed before you that you cannot shun. Do not allow yourself to get in positions where it is easy to fall. Listen to the promptings of the Spirit. If you are engaged in things where you do not feel you can pray and ask the Lord's blessings on what you are doing, you are engaged in the wrong kind of activity."
(God, Family, Country, pp. 140-141)
"Remember, young women, the importance of proper dating....Our Heavenly Father wants you to date young men who are faithful members of the Church, who will be worthy to take you to the temple and be married the Lord's way. There will be a new spirit in Zion when the young women will say to their boyfriends, 'If you cannot get a temple recommend, then I am not about to tie my life to you, even for mortality!'...
"Clearly, right marriage begins with right dating. Therefore, this warning comes with great emphasis. Do not take the chance of dating nonmembers, or members who are untrained and faithless. A girl may say, "Oh, I do not intend to marry this person. It is just a 'fun' date." But one cannot afford to take a chance on falling in love with someone who may never accept the gospel."
(Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p.241-242)
"Our Heavenly Father wants you to date young men who are faithful members of the Church, who will be worthy to take you to the temple and be married the Lord's way....
"My young sisters, we have such hope for you. We have such great expectations for you. Don't settle for less than what the Lord wants you to be."
President Ezra Taft Benson "To the Young Women of the Church," Ensign Nov. 1986, p.84:
"Your chances for a happy and lasting marriage will be far greater if you will date those who are active and faithful in the Church. Such dating is most likel to lead to marriage in the House of the Lord."
President Gordon B. Hinckley, Conference Report, October 1981
"Dear Sisters, never lose sight of this sacred goal. Prayerfully prepare for it and live for it. Be married the Lord’s way. Temple marriage is a gospel ordinance of exaltation. Our Father in Heaven wants each of his daughters to have this eternal blessing.
"Therefore, don’t trifle away your happiness by involvement with someone who cannot take you worthily to the temple. Make a decision now that this is the place where you will marry. To leave that decision until a romantic involvement develops is to take a risk, the importance of which you cannot now fully calculate.
Pres. Ezra Taft Benson
"During courtship we should keep our eyes wide open, but after marriage keep them half-shut."
David O. McKay, CR 4/58:7
President Spencer W. Kimball - "Marriage - The Proper Way," New Era, Feb. 1976, p.5)
"My beloved young people, you should be serious-minded. Life is not wholly for fun and frolic. It is a most serious business. You will do well to grow up as children, associating with both girls and boys for those first years. When you get in the teenage years, your social associations should still be general acquaintance with both boys and girls. Any dating or pairing off in social contacts should be postponed until at least the age of 16 or older, and even then there should be much judgment used in selections and in the seriousness.
"Young people should still limit the close contacts for several years, since the boy will be going on his mission when he is 19 years old. There should be limited contacts and certainly no approach to the intimate relationships involving sex. There must never be any sex of any kind prior to marriage"
Also on page 7 "For the Strength of Youth":
"In cultures where dating is appropriate, do not date until you are sixteen years old. Not all teenagers need to date or even want to ..."
"Begin to prepare for a temple marriage. Proper dating is a part of that preparation. In cultures where dating is appropriate, do not date until you are sixteen years old. Not all teenagers need to date or even want to. When you begin dating, go in groups or on double dates. Make sure your parents meet and become acquainted with those you date. Because dating is a preparation for marriage, date only those who have high standards."
"I think President Kimball gives us strong direction in this. In a talk, 'Save the Youth of Zion,' delivered in 1965 at June Conference, he said, 'Early dating, especially early steady dating, brings numerous problems, much heartache, and numerous disasters. The early date often develops into the steady date, and the steady date frequently brings on early marriage, of which there are hundreds of thousands with 16- and 17-year-old brides. Early marriages often end in disillusionment, frustration, and divorce, with broken homes and scarred lives. Far more high school marriages end in divorce than marriages of more mature young people. Dating, and especially steady dating, in the early teens is most hazardous. It distorts the whole picture of life. It deprives the youth of worthwhile and rich experiences. It limits friendships and reduces acquaintances which can be so valuable in selecting a partner for time and eternity.'"
"Early dating gives Satan a foothold. Single dating at an early age is an invitation for the adversary to attack you while you are away from the safety of the group. Immoral conduct, alcohol, drug abuse, the addicting and degrading effect of pornography, Satan worship and other cult activities are all tools of the adversary carefully designed to enslave you and, ultimately, destroy you. The battle between good and evil is very real. We determine by the choices we make each day where we stand, what our values are, and whom we have chosen to follow."
"... in your searching for the fulfillment of your romantic longings, always live for the presence of the Holy Spirit, that you may have it as your constant guide. Don't date someone you already know you would not ever want to marry. If you fall in love with someone you should not marry, you can't expect the Lord to guide you away from that person after you are already emotionally committed. It is difficult enough to tune your spiritual receiver to the whisperings of heaven without jamming up the channel with the loud thunder of romantic emotion."
"Steady dating at an early age leads so often to tragedy. Studies have shown that the longer a boy and girl date one another, the more likely they are to get into trouble.
"It is better, my friends, to date a variety of companions until you are ready to marry. Have a wonderful time, but stay away from familiarity. Keep your hands to yourself. It may not be easy, but it is possible."