DON’T WAIT FOR OTHERS TO MAKE
YOU SUCCESSFUL
Some teenagers grew up expecting someone else to do
things for them. For example,
if a Sunday School class was boring,
it was the teacher’s fault.
If there was no life at a Church dance,
it was someone else’s fault.
If you weren’t having fun living, it
was as if someone else was supposed
to do something for you.
Unfortunately, too many missionaries carry this same childish
attitude with them into their
missions. However, you must realize that
no one can pave the way for you.
If you want life to be fun and interesting,
you must assume some responsibility.
Likewise, if you are not enjoying
your mission, take charge of
the situation
and make appropriate changes.
Your companion may exhibit a rather negative attitude about the
mission and life in general.
In this situation it is tempting to take a
deep
breath, roll your eyes, and just
wait until transfers. But remember, every
day that you allow your companion
to smother your enthusiasm is one
less day you will serve yourmission
the way you want. What can you do
about his or her negative attitude?
Generally, it is difficult to be around
an optimistic person and maintain
a sullen, depressed attitude. The first
thing you
can do is to be the kind of missionary you want to be in spite
of your companion’s sour attitude.
Next, you can reason with your companion and perhaps learn
why
he or she is that way.
The possibilities are endless: low self-esteem,
a
troubled home, a struggling testimony.
Before you write your companion
off, try to find out what iswrong.
Depressed people are not happy people, and their lives are
miserable.
If your companion has been able
to identify what is wrong, he or she may
not know what to do about it.
Be a supportive companion and tactfully
give some good practical
advice—it may give your companion new hope.
It’s all
too easy for some missionaries to rigidly state, “I’m not here
to baby-
sit my companion. If he
has a problem, then it’s his problem.”
Unfortunately,
your companion’s problems become
your problems. After
you have talked through theproblem,
make some positive plans for over-
coming the problem. Don’t
dwell on the problem—an approach used
by too many depressed people.
Look for the positive in every situation,
though sometimes it is very difficult.
When people are depressed,
everything seems dark.
To them there is no evident way out! If
you wait
for the mission president to
visit with your companion, you may waste a
lot of valuable time.
When faced with obstacles seemingly too large to handle, many
people choose the easy way out
by doing nothing to try to surmount them
or by complaining. Neither
reaction does any good. No matter what the
situation or problem, you have
three options: (1) not let it bother you,
(2) complain about it and letit
affect the quality of your mission, or
(3) evaluate the situation
and do something about it.
If you choose to do nothing or complain, you stand the chance
of
ruining your attitude toward
your mission. All the adversary has to do
is keep you in touch with those
who are likewise negative, contrary, or
unsupportive. If your life
can be controlled simply by keeping the wrong
kinds of people around
you, your trying to wait out the situation could
have very
negative implications. If you decide to do something, the
very worst you can do is fail,
and things will remain the same as before.
If you are afraid of hard work, the world will be a pretty bleak
place
to live. No one is assigned
to smooth the way for you. If you want
a
smooth road, plan on smoothing
it out yourself.
If you adopt a “can do” attitude, most of the problems become
little
more than irritations.
Over the past three years, I have witnessed
astounding results when missionaries
decided they didn’t like the way
things were going and decided
to make a difference. Despised companions
became best of friends, unsupportive
wards became the most desirable
places in the mission
to serve, and apartments formerly labeled “Outer
Darkness” became pleasant abodes.
But only you can make the difference.
Sometimes determining that you cannot change things and
then not
letting them bother you may be
the only mature decision. You may wish
that the weather was not so cold
or hot, dry or wet, windy or calm, or
whatever. Unless there
is a truly pressing need expedient in the eyes of
the Lord, he surely isnot going
to alter the weather to suit your particular
whim.
On a more practical note, you may not like the way the mission
president chooses leaders in
the mission—yet that may be the style of
leadership most sensible and
comfortable to him. It may not be right or
wrong, good or bad, just different.
Allowing that difference to sour your
attitude will cut you off
from spiritual experiences. Choosing leaders
is
part of his stewardship, so why
not be content to magnify your own
calling? Try not to become
upset when the president magnifies his.
When you become a leader, you
will want to do things in ways that feel
right to you, without having
to worry whether every other person agrees
with your philosophy.
Be careful in making changes that you believe need to be made.
Some things you desire are just
a matter of personal preference.
Remember that everyone has a
right to his or her own personal likes
and dislikes. Trying to
impose your personal desires on others gives
the impression that you are the
only one who is important, and that
immediately labels you as
selfish. Learning the difference between
right and wrong and your
personal likes and dislikes takes some practice.
Learningthe balance between
being too passive and too aggressive will
take time but will be rewarding
in the future.
Determining whether things can and ought to be changed is
a talent
that will bless you forever.
There is a time to lead and a time to be led.
There is a time to change and
a time to leave things alone. There is
a
time to motivate and solveproblems
and a time to seek for more
experienced help. Happy
is the missionary who learns to discern when
each of these times
are.
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