It is difficult to believe that some missionaries are really
missionaries. Their attitude
needs a major overhaul, their manner
of dress and conduct is not appropriate
and their lack of focus on the
work is apparent. The shock
comes when you learn that some other
missionaries are saying the same
things about you!
The scriptures plainly teach that we see in others our own
weaknesses. Paul taught
in Romans 2:1: “Thou art inexcusable,
O man, whosoever thou art that
judgest: for wherein thou judgest
another, thou condemnest thyself;
for thou that judgest doest the
same things.” Many people
have the habit of judging others. It is
easy to stand back and pass judgment
on everyone and everything.
Too often we use ourselves as
the standard against which everything
else is judged. If you
view everyone who is different from you as
strange, you will see that the
entire world is strange because you are
unique.
Unless you are assigned to work in an area where missionaries
have never labored before, you
are bound to hear stories about the
missionaries who were there before.
Be very careful not to fall into
the gossip trap. Even if
everything you are told is true, it doesn’t do
any good to
spread gossip. You don’t have to live very long before
you discover that you can’t please
all the people all of the time.
Someone will always see things
differently than you do. Some will
differ from you politically.
Some will interpret
scriptures differently
than you do. Some will
have different tastes in clothing and hairstyles.
The list is endless.
Whenever you speak unkindly about other missionaries, you
damage the very cause you were
sent to promote. That does not
mean you have
to lie about missionaries who have
acted inappropriately.
You are not obligated to say
anything at all. Consider asking the following
questions before you pass on
any information. First ask yourself, “Is it
true?” If you don’t know
for sure that something is true, it would be better
left unsaid. Secondhand
information is often either distorted or completely
wrong. Second, “Is it kind?”
Certain information may be true, but the
effects of passing it on could
be devastating. For example, say that an
elder has made
a serious moral mistake and has to return home as part
of the repentance process.
You are transferred into the area. The mission
president has shared just enough
of the problem to keep you from making
the same mistake. Someone
asks you if you know what happened to the
elder. In truth you know
what happened. However, it is better to say
nothing at all, both for his
sake and for the sake of missionary work itself.
Third, “Is it necessary?”
Even if something is true and kind, it may not
be necessary for you to pass
it on. People spend too much time gossiping
while the necessary work of the
kingdom is put on the back burner. You
and your companion are often
in the best position to know what is going
on in the lives of members and
nonmembers alike. If you make the mistake
of being the communication center
for the ward, you will find that all your
time is spent talking about other
people. When the Lord commanded,
“Say nothing but repentance unto
this generation” (D&C 11:9), he sent
an unmistakable message that
our time should be focused entirely on
Him and His gospel.
Another thing that helped me and my missionaries focus on things
that are important is the saying
“Small minds talk about people; average
minds talk about things; great
minds talk about ideas.” What would happen
if we refused to allow our minds
to be either small or average but insisted
on having great minds?
Many great ideas, eternal principles, and soul-
expanding concepts go unattended
because we are too focused on gossip.
You may have come from a small farming community where every-
body knew everything about everybody.
You will find it difficult to break
a lifelong habit. But it
is possible, and the rewards are worth the effort.
Catch yourself or have your companion
call you up short if you start to
talk about others. If you
are serving in an area where gossip is prevalent,
it is doubly difficult to break
the cycle. Be open, honest, and frank about
wanting to avoid the practice.
In stating your desire to quit gossiping,
don’t label or belittle the local
people. Ask for their assistance. By their
helping you, they may come to
realize that they too need to make some
adjustments. Just one righteous
man or woman can make a big difference.
The Book of Mormon tells the story of the powerful, transforming
influence of one righteous man
among people who had gone astray.
"Now this Melchizedek was a king over the land of Salem;
and his people had waxed strong in iniquity and abomination;
Yea, they had all gone astray; they were full of all manner of
wickedness. But Melchizedek having exercised mightly faith,
and received the office of the high priesthood according to the
holy Order of God, did preach repentance unto his people. And
behold, they did repent; and Melchizedek did establish peace
in the land in his days; therefore he was called the prince of
peace, for he was the king of Salem; and he did reign under his
father." (Alma 13:17-18)
With a little substitution, this scripture gives us a clear program for
helping the local people perfect
themselves. Substitute your name for
Melchizedek. The modified
version may read: “Now (your name) was
an elder/sister over the land
of (city where you serve); and the members
had waxed strong in iniquity
and gossip; yea, they had all gone astray;
they were full of all manner
of wickedness. But (your name) having
exercised mighty faith, and received
the office of missionary according
to the calling from the Prophet,
did preach the peaceable way to live unto
the people in the ward.
And behold, they did repent (change!); and (your
name) did establish peace in
the ward in his/her stay there as a missionary;
therefore (your name) was called
blessed by the people, for he/she did
serve with honor under the direction
of the mission president.”
It may be that you can’t change the entire mission—but maybe you
can. You will never know
the impact you have had until you have served
your entire mission the way you
know you should. It will probably require
a rerun on the eternal video
machine before the full impace of your righteous
behavior is realized.
Because you will be serving with “all your heart, might, mind and
strength,” you may find fault
with the bishop or other ward leaders for not
being as diligent as you expect
them to be. Unless it is your stewardship
(which it isn’t!) to correct
the leaders, learn to work within the framework
of the ward to introduce change.
“Don’t try to magnify the bishop’s calling!”
The bishop will know many
things that you are not privileged to know. Many
times, people (even some leaders)
would say, “President, if I
were you, I
would do (this or that).”
I would often think to myself, “If you
were me and
knew what I know, you would probably
do exactly what I
am doing.” There
is a reason why the saying “Every
member a mission present!” is so well-
known. Don’t add to the
problem. You become annoyed
when people tell
you how to serve your mission;
think how the leaders must feel when a
nineteen-year-old male or a twenty-one-year-
old female tries to tell them
how to magnify their calling.
Just as you have the potential to be the greatest talebearer in the
ward, you also have the greatest
potential of being the greatest peace-
maker.
If you use the excuse that “everybody
else is doing it,”
you will
never rise to the
level to which you were foreordained. It is
easy to dwell
on the negative and overlook the positive. Remember,
Christ is the
builder. Satan is the destroyer.
If what you say or do
weakens and
destroys, there
is no question whose team you are playing
on.
One of the difficult positions you may find yourself in is being in the
middle of a dispute. Sometimes
the opposing parties will try to attract
people who
agree with their philosophy.
Scrupulously avoid taking sides.
If you are going
to be the healing agent, you must
remain neutral. The
Savior taught that a
house divided against itself cannot
stand. You will
find that nine out of ten
individuals can be wrong even if
they all agree.
What the gospel says is correct,
even if it is unpopular. Teach
correct
principles with boldness, and
leave condemnation
and judgment to the
Lord. To the degree you
become part of the fighting
among members or
nonmembers, you will decrease
your effectiveness as
an instrument of
the Lord in establishing peace.
Referring to conditions that would
exist
just before the Second Coming,
the Savior said of Zion: "It shall be the
only people that shall not be
at war one with another” (D&C 45:69). If
we contribute
in any way to the “war,” we also disqualify that ward or
branch from
being numbered among those who are called Zion and who
are thus prepared
for the second coming of Christ.
If you can learn how to be in the ward without being involved in its
problems, you
are on your way to mastering a principle that will benefit
you for the rest of
your life. Is there a time
for you to enter the fray? Not
as a missionary! Let local
leaders work to soften the hearts
of the opposing
parties—you focus on your
assigned mission. When you
speak only good
about everyone you meet, the
Spirit of God causes that good
to be
magnified. Before long
these negative factors
that seemed so important
disappear. Make it your
goal to help people achieve
the unity that
will
quality them as a Zion people.
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