Chapter 1 - Who is Bob?
Bob
is the direct lineal descendent of Eric the Red, Genghis Khan and
Attila The Hun. Most people refer to him as Sweet Old Bob; good friends
use just the initials. As you can see, his father was thrilled to have
the little tyke around.
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He is an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a
ruthless
bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over his original line of
corduroy evening-wear. He does not perspire.
He is a dynamic figure of a man, often seen
scaling walls and crushing ice with his fingers. He has been known to
remodel train stations and airports on his lunch breaks, making them
more efficient in the area of heat retention and traffic manipulation.
He is an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
He has been Caller Number 8, won weekend ski passes and
has been visited by Ed McMahon. He is a private citizen, yet receives
thousands of pieces of fan mail.
Michelangelo used him as the model for David.
And, while his modesty (if he weren't so modest, he would
be
perfect) keeps Bob from claiming any divine status, it is proven
that proper prayer and worship of him and his prophet, Stanley,
leads to cures, riches and happiness. You can pay homage to
Stanley by clicking on the crown:
Further worship is simple in
practice. Merely place a lighted candle in the hole of a 5-1/2" floppy
disk, remove your clothes and dance around the symbolic fire while
chanting the holy mantra "Redmond, Redmond, Redmond". And don't forget
to send your free-will contributions.
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