Chapter 8 - I Spy
While
on vacation in Canada, he successfully negotiated with a
group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. He has
performed several covert operations with the CIA. Neither the
laws of physics nor gravity apply to him.
Occasionally, he treads water for three days in a row. Using only
a hoe and a large glass of water, he once single-handedly
defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of
ferocious army ants and later trained the ants to perform in a
circus.
During a brief stint with the Australian secret service, where he teamed up
with an assistant called only "Joey," he set an all-time record on the conumption
of lager beer.
He has walked the extra mile in the other fellow's shoes (they
hurt) and swum across the Atlantic in pursuit of a traitorous
spy. Using only the breaststroke. While blindfolded. And while
towing an anchor.
He sleeps once a week;
and when he does, he sleeps in his favorite chair.
The women of America have sung his praises since he recommended that all spy and detective
stories on television be replaced with sports. Doing so
has kept thousands of husbands occupied and out from under foot.
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