Chapter 9 - The Medical Field
In
the field of medicine, his accomplishments are without peer. His
invention of five vaccines for diseases that do not yet exist was well
worthy of the Lasker and Nobel prizes they earned.
Before his invention of the thermometer, temperatures were unknown.
His pioneering surgeries on diseases of the eyes
have led to several fortunes for those
making white canes and training seeing eye dogs while his unique method of
doing brain surgery has filled hundreds of otherwise
empty beds in long term health care facilities.
On Wednesdays, after work, he performs heart transplant surgery free of charge. His discovery that blood does better when kept within the body led directly to his student Harvey's work on circulation.
He is currently working on cures for acne, the Heartbreak of
Psoriasis, the Evil Gingivitis, halitosis, and of course Irregularity
Due To Lack Of Bulk In The Diet. Iron Poor Tired Blood is a future
project.
In the field of dentistry, his improvement to the old-fashioned dentist's
drill are in use by the finest (and richest) dentists the world over.
With Board certification in psychiatry, proctology and urology, his medical office sign
"Specialist in Odds & Ends" is most appropriate.
He is a full professor of
pseudo-psycho-demonology at the
University of Ooboodugwu and visiting Professor of Tomfoolery at
Dar es Salam hospital where he specializes in diseases of the
rich.
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