An Open Door
9 December 2005
by Nate Hansen

Nikana's arms and legs throbbed. He stood serenely in the circle, surrounded by Miharu with their bokken at the ready. He shifted slightly to the left, his gaze lowering to get a better view of the wooden-man to his back and the Miharu beyond.

"Phaw," came the deep rough voice, followed by a short Miharu of middling years. Yagyu, leaving his place in the circle walked up to Nikana. "That will not do, Nikana – no more shifting about nervously and looking around," Yagyu said sternly as he sheathed his bokken in his obi and pulled out a length of cloth. "This should keep you focused, young one," Yagyu said holding the cloth up to Nikana. Nikana bowed so Yagyu could place the cloth over his eyes. With no warning Nikana stepped right, blade spinning out striking another approaching Miharu, Toshi, accross his armored neck plate – normally a killing blow. Toshi staggered a bit from the force of Nikana's strike, his sword sliding down from where it was lodged in the wooden-man.

"You certainly have good reflexes Nikana, but your mind is too busy. You would have killed Toshi but he would have killed your charge... Unforgivable." Yagyu's bokken seemed to leap from his obi as it came down hard below Nikana's left knee – driving Nikana's to both his knees.

'Pain taught important lessons and today has been most instructive,' Nikana mused to himself as his calf muscle spasmed.

"Again," Yagyu said as he tied the strip of cloth accross Nikana's eyes.

Yagyu and Nikana made their way accross the courtyard, Nikana trying to ignore the pain of each step.

Yagyu refused to adhere to social niceties while training – no san was added to anyones name, no matter who they were. 'Combat strips you of all that you think you are leaving only the truth and training should be no different,' Yagyu had often said.

"Nikana-san, you have the soul of a warrior and you are coming along well enough in your martial skills. What you lack is the mind of a warrior," Yagyu's gravelly voice instructed. "The empty mind of the instinctive warrior eludes you... I sense fear is at the heart of this..."

"I failed as a Miharu, Yagyu-sama. Doji Shiju-sama was slain while I was in his service. And in the following battle one whose safety I had made myself responsible for was injured... I rushed the assassins and slew one of them hoping to end it quickly... my companions killed the other..."

"I read the several accounts of the event," Yagyu interruputed, "You did as well as anyone could be expected. What is the heart of this matter?"

"Afterwards, I began to fear losing Takako-san. I began to fear failure as well as her death..."

"Concern, even affection, for others is not a problem for the Miharu Nikana-san. It is a simple truth that we cannot control everything. We cannot stop people from dying. We fear what we cannot control. We can only do what can be done and this is a Miharu's responsibility – to lose himself in the moment that action is immediate and decisive. Fear slows you down making that which you fear more likely. These are the inner demons we must conquer if we are to be of service to the Emperor. A Miharu has no thought of self and fear is ultimately selfish."

Yagyu stopped and looked up at Nikana.

"I have nothing more to teach you regarding your next step as a Miharu, mind what I have said"

Nikana sat quietly on a bench overlooking one of the Imperial Gardens.

'All of my new companions have left now,' Nikana thought as his mind wandered to the past week.

'It will take an odd twist of fate to bring us back together again... as one door closes another opens. Takako-san now knows the truth about me – about my grandfather. I hope she doesn't feel decieved, perhaps I should have said something sooner? Perhaps there is some purpose for my disgrace, some reason I was born into this. Perhaps this is preparing me for something greater. I do not desire glory or status only to be virtuous enough to serve and enough to cleanse my name.'